Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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