Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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