Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
