Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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