I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
