I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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