Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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