When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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