just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
