Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize