I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
