whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize