If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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