problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
