I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
foreskin is a definite game changer
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I need to sanitize my soul.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
