wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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