In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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