'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
