I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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