ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
