He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
