for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
