I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
