worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She bit a glass in half.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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