there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
