i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize