nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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