I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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