Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
