i think my tv is drunk
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
