check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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