You're completely useless in the revolution.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize