I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
