would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
