You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
