It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
