Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
