I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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