This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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