sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
