I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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