first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize