just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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