just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
