so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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