There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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