Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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