we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
