I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
