He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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