eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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