Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
