I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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