I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The air was thick with penises
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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