Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
