i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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