one might say we're banned from that church
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
