I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
