shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
