Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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