i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
